Tag Archives: Youth Concussions

Long Island HS Junior Speaks About Loss, and Perseverance in the Wake of PCS

By Kate Gaglias

kategThe saying “You will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory” is absolutely true. Many of us athletes take our sports for granted- The grueling practices, running laps for no reason, constant games and tournaments. But the truth is no matter how much we say we hate it we will always have the love for the sport. Until, unfortunately for some of us all of that can be taken away in an instant.

My name is Kate Gaglias, and I am a junior in High school in Long Island, New York. I’ve played soccer since I was four years old, beginning in an in-house league like every other toddler. I joined a travel team when I was eight called the Longwood Twisters (which I am still a part of today) and played on the junior high team, JV team, and in my sophomore year I became a member of our varsity team. But since a young age my life has been changed by concussions. I received my first concussion in 2007 by getting a ball slammed to the side of my head by one of my teammates at an indoor practice. I didn’t feel anything until I got home, and after telling my dad (an athletic trainer) and my mom (a physical therapist assistant), they checked out my symptoms (the normal dizziness, sensitivity to light, headaches) and they all added up to having a mild concussion. I was out of school for a week, and when my symptoms were gone I returned to school like a normal 5th grader. Continue reading

Peter Robinson, Father of Northern Ireland Teen Lost To Second Impact Syndrome in a Rugby Match, Speaks Out

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Benjamin Peter Robinson

Born 29th May 1996 – Died 31st January 2011

By Peter Robinson

Ben, as he was to me, or Benjamin, as he liked to be called, was an A student who had a big broad smile and a wicked sense of humour. A very caring sensitive boy who hated confrontation, he was a mediator. Growing up, Ben loved ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘Lord of the Rings’, playing football and getting up to mischief. He was fanatical about Man Utd and visited Old Trafford and Wembley to see them play with his step father Steven. He would talk endlessly about who was the best player – Scholes, Ronaldo, Messi, Best, Pele. I brought him to see Messi play for Barcelona, it was a great day.

Ben has a sister Holly who lived at home with him. She was studying for her GCSE at the time. Holly continued to attend Carrickfergus Grammar and has shown great strength and courage, gaining all her GCSE and latterly all her A levels. She is now at College, she is sports mad including football and hockey although this gives me many sleepless nights, but at least she knows the dangers of concussion.

Ben has a younger brother Gregor and sister Isla who lives in Scotland with myself and my wife Carol. There is not a day that passes when Ben is not spoken about or watched on home DVD. When we told them what had happened to Ben, my son Gregor said, ‘can we not take the grass out of the ground and put it into Ben to make him grow better?’ If only it was that simple.

Ben also has 2 step sisters- Sian and Dana and they miss him terribly.

Ben was the most loyal child, he adored his mother Karen, they had a great relationship, since Ben’s death she has not been able to work again, any chance at getting her life back on track or a return to a form of normality seems a long way off.

On Saturday 29th January 2011, I knew that Ben was playing a Medallion match at School, I had spoken to him the previous day he was excited and nervous about the game. Late morning Holly telephoned Carol to say that Ben had been injured in the game and an ambulance was taking him to the Royal Victoria Hospital. At that time I thought, “okay its rugby”. I expected him to get injured at some time, a cut, a broken arm, ankle and my worst thought was a broken neck. I immediately booked flights across for myself and Carol, whilst waiting to travel I received telephone calls from Steven saying that Ben had a head injury and things were not looking good. Waiting on that flight was the longest wait of my life. I just wanted to be with my son.

On arrival at the RVH, I knew Ben had been taken to HDU. We spoke with the consultants and I could tell by their manner that things were not good. They told us that Ben had suffered severe head trauma and was highly unlikely to recover. They expected this sort of injury from a car accident and they said recovery would take a miracle. The staff at the HDU were fantastic. They attempted to reduce the swelling in Ben’s brain by using a new cooling method, but unfortunately this did not help. Seeing Ben lying there in the hospital bed and being unable to help him is a parent’s worst nightmare, I could only hold his hand and talk to him.

On the Monday, the consultants spoke to the family and explained that they believed Ben was ‘Brain Stem Dead’ and they carried out tests which confirmed this. We were approached by the Organ Donor team who made a request to the family that as Ben was so fit and healthy he could help others by donating his organs. As a family we agreed that Ben would want to help others. We wanted a miracle, but knew that Ben could be someone else’s miracle by donating. We know that Ben’s organs helped to save 5 others: a little girl Erin who was 6 months received part of his liver and her parents wrote some time later to tell the family that she was doing well. Knowing that Ben has helped others is somewhat comforting.

On the Monday night, Karen (Ben’s mum) and myself sat all night beside him, holding his hand. We did not want to leave him for a moment. Knowing that that night was the last night we could hold our son was devastating.

On Tuesday he was taken away for the organ donation operation. That was the last time I saw my son alive.

On Wednesday I identified my son at the mortuary.

Ben’s funeral was very difficult. The amount of people who came to pay respect to him was beyond comprehension. The school choir sang at the funeral and they were amazing, singing whilst tears ran freely down their little faces. The headmaster told tales from Ben’s friends, we had music, photos, and I laughed and cried. The school rugby team carried his coffin out of the church and through the streets of Carrickfergus.
Some months later we were contacted by the State Pathologist Jack Crane and he told the family that the findings in relation to Ben’s cause of death were ‘Second Impact Syndrome’. Having never heard this before, he explained that Ben had suffered several concussions during the one match.

As there was a video of the match, we watched this and saw many incidents where Ben had been injured and was seen on many occasions holding his head.

As a family, we wanted to find out what had happened, what had went wrong, and why did no one know about this syndrome? We wanted to make sure that this could not happen again.

We could not get Ben’s death certificate until the Coroner had carried out an inquest into his death. Unfortunately, as time passed, Ben’s team mates were still traumatised by his death and when they found out that it was mismanaged concussion they were devastated knowing that if they had been aware of the signs and symptoms of concussion they would have highlighted it.

The police investigation was long and painstaking and many mistakes were made. The family had to instruct a lawyer to assist with the investigation.

A chance meeting at Ben’s grave between Karen and a school friend led to valuable information coming to light: Ben had been injured several times during the match, all head injuries. He was treated for each one and allowed to play on. It was felt he was fit to play on as he had passed some checks. The video shows that this was not the case. He is seen prone on the ground, not moving on occasions and slow to get up. He is disorientated and is seen constantly holding his right side of his head. Some team mates came forward and made statements that Ben could not remember the score, even although it was a low scoring game. Other statements emerged saying that Ben was knocked out on an occasion.

The family had to have another funeral service when Ben’s Brain was returned to the family. Over the two and half years since his death we have had 2 funerals, 2 inquests and hours of heartache. Finally, on 4th September 2013, we got Ben’s death certificate stating that he had died of ‘Second Impact Syndrome’.

As a family we have a very simple message: we want concussion awareness introduced into the School curriculum. ‘It’s a life skill’

We want mandatory training for all coaches and referees. Players need to be aware, they need to look after each other – a buddy buddy system.

Sports organisations and Unions need to accept that concussion can be fatal. Don’t down play concussion.

Professionals Rugby players are sending out the wrong message in regard to return to play after a head injury.

My son left me a wonderful gift, that I was unaware of until his mum found it in his school jotter. He had written the following :

My Dad
I probably don’t think of him as much as I should,
but when I do I think of all the things
he has done for me.
I think of the endless drives up
to football and rugby matches, I think of all the camping trips,
events and treats organised for me and my
sister. I remember all the plane trips
and drives he’s had to take,
as he lives in Scotland,
just for me.
I know he will ring everyday
to check up on me and know how
I’m doing.
I know I can talk to him
about anything and everything and
that he will give me the right advice
even when I think I don’t need it.
And although he has gained some
weight over the years and he is a Man City fan
I still love him and he loves me.

Ben Robinson

Multiple Concussion Sufferer From PA Details Her Experiences

{ Editor’s note: Isabella’s experience highlights the most common (and nerve-wracking) bullet point that many of us have learned as multiple concussion sufferers: That it takes virtually no effort at all to re-injure yourself once you get the ball rolling with concussions. We know that the effects of concussions are cumulative and that each one increases the likelihood of the next one- even from a slight bump. Living under that sort of cloud day to day is stressful and very difficult; especially, as you are working hard to recover from current symptoms.   – Jay }

By Isabella Cantafio

isabellaI never knew what a concussion was until I got my first one in a soccer game in 6th grade. I headed the ball in the air with another player and fell back whipping my head off the ground. I remember feeling in a blur and sat out for about 5 minutes before returning into play. By the end of the game my head felt like someone was hitting it with a hammer and I was on a merry go round ride. My next concussion came in 8th grade from hitting my head off the gymnasium floor leaving me unconscious for 2 minutes and sending me to the hospital.

Nearing the end of my freshman year, I was in a water park accident that caused a concussion and forced me to end my 9th grade year early.

A few weeks after the accident (never being officially cleared by IMPACT test) I was playing soccer with some friends and got kicked in the head causing another concussion.

Over the summer until the start of my sophomore year I had intermittent headaches, got easily dizzy and overall didn’t feel right. I didn’t think it was from the concussion but when school started I found it hard to concentrate, my grades started slipping and the headaches just got worse.

Two months into the school year, I passed out, hitting my head and was unconscious for almost a half an hour spending 3 days in the hospital under observation for seizure activity. After the accident, I had double/ blurry vision for several months, fainting spells, problems in school, and severe migraines that seemed to never leave.

Doing vision and vestibular therapy for 5 months things started to improve until fooling around with some friends I got pushed back jarring my head causing many of my symptoms to come roaring back.

I was forced to end my sophomore year early bed bound for 5 months unable to watch tv, text or do anything that would stimulate my brain. It was horrible to say the least.

Playing basketball my junior year I got hit in the head causing another concussion.

A few months after that, I got a knee to the head and blacked out for several seconds. Not much force was needed to knock me out at this point. The summer leading to my senior year I had moderate improvements in my post-concussion symptoms and was really looking forward to senior year and looking into college.

Just when everything started improving, things spiraled downward quickly, and I got back to back concussions, 2 weeks apart. The latter of the two was a car accident that caused a neck injury and more concussion problems. I’ve been in and out of the hospital trying to get the migraines under control, doing more vision and vestibular therapy and cognitive exercises to help with short term memory problems and concentration issues, sleeping problems and mood swings.

The one thing out of my experience I have learned is to never take anything for granted. You may think you are “invincible” and you can play through any pain. But with concussions it is your brain, something you can’t replace, you need to take care of it.

No game is worth years or possibly a lifetime of problems. I can never play sports again, I still have many problems from my injuries and my college plans are on hold for now. But sometimes in life the road that everyone else is taking, isn’t the road you are supposed to be on.

Take every day one day at a time and never give up!

 

Jay Fraga Interview With Mike Carruth of BMX News

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On Tuesday, July 23, Mike Carruth of BMX News spoke with Jay Fraga about concussions in sports and why Jay started The Knockout Project. You can download or stream the interview here:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bmxnews/2013/07/24/bmx-news-announcers-tower-live–july-23-2013-1

CT Lacrosse Player’s Four Year Journey Through Concussion

{ Editor’s note: I’m excited to include a “success story” here on The Knockout Project, as most of the time I’m hearing from people during what are some of the worst moments of their lives. The attached story features Marianna Consiglio’s battle with post-concussion symptoms. It was written just before Marianna and her parents agreed to a revolutionary surgery performed by Dr Ivica Ducic  to ease her suffering- a surgery that, by all accounts, has been very successful. The link included below is to a recent ABC News story that featured Marianna and detailed her surgery experience.
You can take these two pieces as a “before and after”, if you will.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/doctors-surgery-relieve-lingering-concussion-pain/story?id=19095339

Once things settle down for her, I think we can look for Marianna to write her story here from start to finish. – Jay }

Marianna’s Story

By Erin Leo

mariannaFour years ago, if you had asked Marianna Consiglio what she wanted to be when she grew up, she would have said she wanted to be a teacher.

“I thought it would be fun to be in charge. I was a little bossy when I was younger,” she says, laughing as she recalls her earlier desired profession.

However, if you were to ask her now, the sixteen-year-old would firmly tell you she wants to be a doctor with a concentration in sports medicine, something she never would have considered before her injury.

Nearly four years ago in April of 2009, Marianna stepped out onto the field to play goalie in a youth lacrosse game. Halfway through the game, after already making half a dozen saves, Marianna stepped up to block yet another shot from a girl less than five feet away from her.

She blocked the shot; but it came with a price.

The loud crack as the shot rebounded off Marianna’s helmet made the whole crowd cringe. The force of the ball caused her head to snap back against her helmet, doubling the impact of the hit. Within seconds she was dizzy and had a throbbing headache, but she continued with the game. Afterwards, however, she knew something was very wrong.

“By the time I had gotten home, I was throwing up and could barely see,” she said.

Her mother rushed her to the emergency room where she was diagnosed with a concussion, not an uncommon injury in sports.

“At first I didn’t think it was that big a deal—a lot of kids get concussions and recover without significant issues,” said Laura Consiglio, Marianna’s mother.

However, three months and three different neurologists later, the symptoms from the concussion, specifically the debilitating headaches, had not subsided, and she was referred to Boston Children’s Hospital Sports Injury and Concussion Clinic. An ImPACT test revealed significant cognitive impairment in her visual and verbal memory scores.

“The doctor at Boston told us that the younger the athlete, the longer it generally takes for them to recover from concussions,” recalled Mrs. Consiglio. “He prepared us that it might take up to 12 weeks for her to fully recover, which I remember thinking no way!”

As it turned out, Marianna and her mother are now wishing it had really only taken 12 weeks.

For a year, doctors monitored her cognitive function and prescribed several different medications intended to ease the headaches. By March 2010, she was deemed recovered cognitively, but the headaches had yet to go away. Marianna was then diagnosed with Chronic Daily Migraine. Two years later in 2012, she has since seen seven different neurologists, tried five different naturopathic remedies, and been on countless medications. Still, she experiences near constant headaches and has not gone more than six days without a headache since her initial injury four years ago.

Now, the daily migraines she experiences turn everyday into a battle.

“The hardest part about having the headaches for so long is always missing stuff with my friends and family, and always feeling like I have to explain it to them,” she says.

As a junior in the middle of her high school experience, not being able to hang out with her friends or attend their birthday parties can be hard. It’s a luxury most other students take for granted.

“Although she has occasionally been out to the mall with friends and a couple of Sweet Sixteen’s, she has also missed a lot of social things that go on,” says Mrs. Consiglio. “She has turned some invitations down or left parties early; she doesn’t get to see her friends as much as most others her age.”

Her condition has impacted her family as well. Having gone through all of her ups and downs with her, they hate seeing her in so much pain and are frustrated at the lack of a cure or aid so far.

“It is so frustrating to see her in pain and not be able to do anything to help her,” says her mom. “Or more like, everything I do to try and help her is futile.”

Her older brother, TJ Consiglio, feels the same way.

“Seeing her in pain every day and having trouble helping her get through it is the hardest part,” he says. “You just feel helpless, and that’s the hardest thing to cope with and overcome for all of us.”

However, the biggest obstacle for Marianna and her family so far is school. Though she has a 504, a medical form that allows her to miss school and assignments without consequences, she struggles daily with make-up work and dealing with teachers who don’t understand her condition. She has not been able to attend a full month of school since her injury four years ago.

“I’ve had to come up with totally different school strategies,” she says. “I used to procrastinate to the last minute to start and finish my assignments, but now I know I have to do them right away when I feel good because I don’t know when the next headache is going to come on and prevent me from doing it.”

She goes to a local tutor regularly and has had to finish classes over the summer to receive credit for them. The school has also rearranged her schedule so that she has a free study the first and last period of the day in case she has to come in late or leave early.

“She gets very stressed out about missing and late assignments,” says Mrs. Consiglio. “She is determined to do well and wants her grades to reflect her true ability.”

Despite the many challenges, Marianna has been able to keep up in school and has been able to complete all of her requirements, even if they are just handed in a little later than usual.

“She always has a ton of make-up work, even over the holidays and the summer,” says her brother, TJ. “But she works so hard and always manages to get it done.”

Even more impressive, is the fact that this year she was inducted into the National Honor Society in her high school. NHS requires all of their inductees to have a cumulative GPA of 3.5 and maintain it throughout the rest of their high school career, a feat many normal students cannot achieve, proving just how hard Marianna has worked to continue doing well in school.

After all, she needs to keep up her grades if she wants to pursue her career path of becoming a doctor, and following her dream to help others with similar conditions.

“I’ve missed a lot of school, but I also know that many people wouldn’t be able to keep up their grades like I have, so I am even more determined to become a doctor in sports medicine,” she says. “I know how bad athletes want to get back on the field.”

Perhaps most impressive of all, however, is that despite the amount of pain she is in daily, she doesn’t let it dampen her spirit, and does everything she can not to let it stop her from being a normal kid. She also credits her family, for always being there for her.

“Each one of my family members are my biggest support system,” she explains. “I love them all and couldn’t do it without them.”

Her family continues to hope for a better tomorrow right by her side.

“I am so proud of her determination,” says her mom. “But she is sick of being sick, and I keep hoping that tomorrow will be better for her. I promised her we would not stop until we found a doctor to cure these headaches.”

Even with the many set-backs she has encountered, Marianna has always maintained a positive outlook and believes that she would not be the person who she is today had she not been injured so long ago.

“It has certainly taught me some of my most important lessons in life,” Marianna reflects. “I’ve missed out on a lot, but I’ve also come to realize who my true friends are and what really matters to me.”

The quote she now sets her life by and draws strength from is the one she thinks best describes her whole situation.

“It’s not about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”

“Healing Heads”- Massachusetts HS Junior on Her Concussion Journey

{ Editor’s Note: At the ripe old age of 17, Madeline Uretsky has become a prominent voice in concussion education. She was the subject of a Boston Globe feature story on concussion in January of 2013. Her story has also been highlighted by the Brain Injury Association of Massachusetts, The Salem (MA) News, and a number of concussion-centric websites and blogs. She has spoken publicly on concussion, most recently at the Boston Acquired Brain Injury Support (BABIS) Walk. Madeline is truly a concussion education warrior after our own hearts, and she is an important voice. – Jay}

“Healing Heads”

mad1My name is Madeline Uretsky, and I am a junior at Bishop Fenwick High School in Peabody, MA. What used to be known as “getting your bell rung”, and being told to just “shake it off”, are no longer accepted ways of dealing with concussions.  Thanks to modern research, we know now that concussions are in fact, brain injuries, and must be dealt with as such. They are to be taken seriously, regardless of the severity, because the short term and long term effects can be devastating. Ignoring the symptoms and the mistreatment of them can have lasting effects to the brain, as we have learned from the many NFL players now suffering from the many concussions they sustained, but ignored, while playing. Any subsequent hit to the head before the prior concussion has healed can have profound effects on the brain as I have learned. I am just one of the many thousands of people who have suffered a severe concussion, and whose life has been forever changed by it. You never think it’s going to happen to you.

On October 11, 2011, while playing in my soccer game, I was tripped from behind while sprinting for the ball, fell on my forehead, snapped my neck back, and fell and hit my forehead again in the same place in a matter of seconds. I knew something was wrong immediately, but I had no idea how serious it would be. My symptoms did not become apparent until about 48 hours later. I could not sit up, tolerate any light at all, I was tired, and had an excruciating headache. It has now been a year and seven months since the moment of impact.

I spent the first 3 months of my concussion lying in bed at home, in a dark room, and on complete brain rest. This brain rest meant that I could not watch TV, use a computer, phone, draw, text, read anything, or do any sort of homework or exercise. In other words, I could just sleep, lie in bed, and not go to school.

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At this time, my symptoms were numerous and very high on the symptoms scale at the doctor. I had severe headaches as well as up to 165 very sharp pains all over my head every day. I also had severe whiplash, disorientation, memory loss, extreme fatigue, dizziness, balance problems, trouble following a conversation, ringing in my ears, and I could not tolerate any bright colors, light, or noise of any kind. My sleep at night was erratic and filled with nightmares. You would never know this by just looking at someone with a concussion because they do not have a cast like a broken bone. The brain is still injured but on the outside you look fine.

I went to my pediatrician weekly, and my neurosurgeon monthly, for a symptom evaluation. On a scale of 0-6, I had all 5’s and 6’s during those three months of brain rest; I could not believe how awful I felt. I started going weekly to a massage therapist who practices a type of acupressure that helps brain injured patients. I liked going because it was a way to relax myself, even though it was painful. I continue to go on an as needed basis, and also do many other kinds of alternative therapies that have been helpful such as chiropractic, herbs, speech therapy, balance therapy, eye coordination exercises, and others.

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As these weeks turned into months, it became apparent that there was no end in sight for me. I was isolated from my friends and my school, yet I felt so awful that I accepted that there was just nothing I could do about it, except rest, and wait it out. I had visitors, on a limited basis, but I did not even feel well enough to enjoy myself. I was unable to engage in any kind of conversation, and I would randomly fall asleep. There were times that I could not even remember that I had visitors.

I missed all but five weeks of my sophomore year and I am still not cleared for physical activity other than walking. I did catch up with my schoolwork over the summer of 2012, and now I am on a full schedule at school but with accommodations such as extended time on tests. I took my SAT test without accommodations and that was a challenge. I did some extra preparations to help myself concentrate and have the energy to last the entire test. Overall, it went well and I always wonder how I would have felt during the test if I had not had a concussion. Recently, I also had a setback that kept me out of school for a week after a re-injury to my neck from a visit to the physical therapist. What makes my concussion so severe is that I still have all of my symptoms over a year and a half later, just to a lesser degree. In addition, I have learning disabilities now that I had never had before. Focusing, processing new information, multi-tasking, and comprehending orally are some of them. I am doing much better than I was, but I still have a ways to go. I am hoping to one-day wake up symptom-free.

When you sustain a serious brain injury, your life, and the lives of those around you, are greatly impacted. What you once knew as “normal” no longer exists, things that you could count on for yourself no longer exist, and what you have to do to achieve, and accept, a “new normal”, is a difficult process, both emotionally and physically. I could no longer do any form of physical activity at all, yet I was accustomed to playing sports every day of my life. Before my concussion, I was a very involved and active student – my freshman year, I played soccer, hockey, and winter and spring track.

I decided early on in my recovery that I was going to do whatever the doctors told me, and I was definitely NOT going to let this concussion get the best of me. It’s not who I was before my injury, so I wasn’t going to allow myself to become that person. I was open to any kind of treatment that could help me. As I started to feel a bit better, I began taking baby steps to regain my life. I started to use my computer to reach out to others, as well as to learn more about my brain injury.

Along the way, I decided that there must be other teenagers out there suffering as I was, and who perhaps don’t have the kind of support that I have, so that became my mission – to help them. Life as a teenager is difficult enough, so just imagine being a teenager with up to 165 headaches per day, living in a constant state of fogginess, having memory loss, unable to carry on a conversation without physical pain, sensitivity to light and noise, and generally not being able to live the life I once had.

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Speaking at the Boston Acquired Brain Injury Support Group Walk in Jamaica Plain, October 2012

Returning to school as a student with a brain injury is a very scary proposition. Will people look at me funny? Will they ask me a lot of questions? Will they think I’m faking? – after all, I look fine. These were the many questions that I had before I returned.

My school was so supportive with my accommodations that I decided to write a chapter for a book about concussions in sports, and I have been a regular blogger about various brain injury topics, for several websites. I was the speaker at the 10th annual Brain Injury Walk in Boston in October, and the Pediatric Brain Injury Conference in November. I was featured in Bay State Parenting magazine, the Salem Evening News, and the Boston Globe as well. I will continue my crusade for concussion awareness, because I feel that this has happened to me for a reason, and that is my mission to help others.

As long and difficult as my road to recovery has been, it has also been extremely rewarding. I have been able to mentor, counsel and befriend many other kids with concussions, and this has made me feel so much better. The most important advice I can give is to stay positive because things improve over time. Brain injuries are a work in progress, there may not be a change on a daily basis, but improvement will be seen. Just because life is different than it used to be, it doesn’t mean it isn’t as great – you just have to find a way to make it as great, even if you have to do it differently.

 

WA HS Sophomore Lacrosse Player Reflects on the Physical and Emotional Damage of Post Concussion Syndrome

By Kait Dawson

kaitIf you were to look at me, you wouldn’t think anything was wrong. On the outside, I look like a normal, happy, healthy, teenage girl. But there is so much more going on inside my head than it seems. I am a completely different person than I was before. I have pounding headaches everyday, and I’m not able to remember something I was told five minutes ago, or a movie I’ve seen a dozen times. I have emotional outbursts. I’m constantly both mentally and physically exhausted. I’m losing friends who don’t understand why I am the way I am, and I sometimes feel hopeless and depressed. I struggle with insomnia and being so behind in school that I have to repeat classes. It is a seemingly never-ending bad dream that I can’t wake up from. I never thought much of the word “concussed” before it was relevant to me. But, that word is now my life.

I am now a completely different person than I was before my accident. I was a 4.0 student. I challenged myself daily and took school very seriously. I was a year ahead most students in math, science, and Spanish. I also played lacrosse five nights a week. Lacrosse was a huge part of my life. Pretty much all my friends were on the team. I also play basketball and tennis, but lacrosse was the love of my life. This contrasts greatly to how I am now, taking minimal classes and not even being allowed near a lacrosse ball.

The one thing I do remember very clearly is that day. It was a warm, sunny day in April, the 11th to be exact, and I was wearing my favorite shirt. In PE that day we were playing basketball and I was on a team with three of my closest friends. We won all of our games, so we made it to the championship, which happened to be against an all boys team. It was a rough, violent game that included a lot of fouling. There were two minutes left and we were tied. The only thing on my mind was winning. If I had known that this one game would impact the rest of my life, I might have been less competitive. A boy on the other team dropped the ball at the top of the key and I saw my opportunity to score. I quickly lunged forward. Little did I know, a boy on the other team also decided to lunge for the ball too. Our heads hit with an audible thud and I wobbled backwards in a daze. The gym spun around me, and my ears rang loudly. My head felt like it was going to explode from throbbing pain. I quickly snapped out of it and picked up the ball and scored a basket. We won that game, but my life had taken a dramatic turn for the worse.

When I got home, I told my mom about what happened and that my head was hurting. She checked to make sure my pupils were dilated evenly and made sure I wasn’t feeling nauseous. That was all she knew about concussions. We both thought nothing of what was happening. I bombed a biology test the next day. Biology was my best and favorite subject and I couldn’t understand why I did so poorly. I still didn’t realize what was going on. That night, I played a lacrosse game. I was disoriented the whole game and kept losing track of who had the ball. At this point, my head was still pounding. I was also super sensitive to light and noise. I will regret going to school the next day for the rest of my life.

I was planning on staying home because of my headache, but it was the Friday before spring break and I had two tests that day, one in English and one in Geometry. That day in PE, we were playing ultimate Frisbee. Being my usual competitive self, I was playing too roughly. I don’t remember anything about playing except for the moment I got hit. It was like one of those slow motion moments in a movie. I saw an opportunity and jumped in front of a girl on the other team that was about to catch a pass from a teammate. I swatted the Frisbee away from her and heard it hit the ground. This girl was obviously surprised about what happened and wasn’t expecting it at all. She flailed her arms and her left elbow made contact with my right temple. It was the same spot that the boy’s head hit in basketball a few days prior. I immediately collapsed on the field. I wasn’t unconscious, but I was really out of it. I got up slowly and tried to process what had happened. The PE teacher asked about what happened and I explained. After hearing that I was hit a few days ago, she tugged me off the field. I was sent straight to the nurse’s office and then straight to the doctor’s office from there. I was told that I had suffered a concussion.

My first thought was, “when can I play lacrosse again?” My pediatrician told me I would be completely better by next week. I canceled my travel plans for spring break and spent the whole week in bed in a dark room. I don’t remember that week at all except that I slept a lot. When it was the next week and I didn’t feel better, I was discouraged. But, my doctor assured me that it would only be two more weeks. She said that sometimes it takes a little longer. After each benchmark passed and I had no improvement, I began to lose hope. It was now the summer break and I wasn’t better at all. I spent the whole summer in bed. I left my house maybe five times at most and saw my friends only once. It was a really dark time for me. I was so confused. Why wasn’t my head getting any better?

Not much changed for the next few months. I had full testing done by a neuropsychologist and they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. It became very clear that full time school wasn’t an option so I dropped several classes and got a 504 plan. I hated the idea of this. I felt weak, like I couldn’t handle it. I wanted nothing more than to go back in time and stop myself from getting hurt. I had missed out on playing in the state championships with my lacrosse team, going to the Young Life camp that my friends and I had been talking about since 6th grade and everything else that mattered to me. I was still in a very dark place.

From then on, things didn’t get much better. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wished I could go back to that day and change things. But, I can’t. I’m stuck with debilitating headaches, anxiety attacks, and just coping in general. I’m stuck with being this whole new person that I don’t recognize. I’m stuck with Post Concussive Syndrome for the time being and there’s nothing I can do about it. The only thing left to do is to be positive and pray that my brain will heal soon. I’ve had to miss out on so many opportunities over the last year because of it and I’ve struggled with periods of depression. But recently, I have come to accept it. I’ve learned that there’s no point in getting upset about something I can’t change. I could have PCS for another month, or another year. There’s no way to know. But the thing I have learned is to just “let it be”. I’ve finally come to terms with it. I no longer get stressed about small things like I used to. It’s not the road I chose, but it’s the one I’ve been dealt.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to play lacrosse again. I pray every night that my concussion will go away so that things can get back to normal and I can play the game I love so much. The one thing I do know for sure is that, when I do return to the lacrosse field, I will be wearing a helmet. I will be the only one on the field sporting such lovely headgear, but I don’t care. I will wear it proudly because I know that I am protecting my head.

Reality of Post Concussion Syndrome Driven Home By Web Search Statistics

By Jay Fraga

As the founder of this site, I take a keen interest in trying to figure out how people are getting here. Many arrive at The Knockout Project because of an article or post that has been shared via social media. Some people get here by accident; many after their own accident while they search for answers in an attempt to get some relief.  As someone who still suffers from some rather lousy post concussion symptoms daily, I can’t help but to read our site’s internal statistics and envision the suffering on the other end when a person types a phrase or question into a search engine that ultimately leads them here.

I’d like to share with you some of the searches that have led people to our site within the last four months. Some of the search queries offer poignant insight into the suffering that can exist post-concussion. For me, these queries are often hard to read. I’ve felt many of these symptoms and know how bad they can be physically and mentally. In that particular light, they’re not just search queries: they’re my life. They’re the lives of other athletes that I know. And now they are an unfortunate part of someone else’s life; someone seeing our site for the first time via a search engine query.

  • the knockout project
  • post concussion syndrome
  • the knockout project concussion
  • knockout project
  • theknockoutproject.org
  • raising a child with post concussion syndrome
  • can post concussion syndrome last forever?
  • post concussion college teen
  • post concussion light sensitivity and computer screens
  • how to explain my post concussion syndrome
  • nobody understands my concussion
  • how do i explain post concussion syndrome to people
  • looking backward when you have a concussion
  • post concussion syndrome changed my life
  • post concussion syndrome even years later some people can’t focus
  • why do we forget what happens concussion
  • my boyfriend has post concussion syndrome
  • my post concussion story
  • why are memories forgotten during concussion
  • multiple concussions data tables
  • concussion can’t bend head down
  • stories about second impact syndrome
  • how to get my taste back after concussion
  • sara birkholz
  • theknockoutproject.com
  • concussion project
  • kevin saum
  • www.knockoutproject.org
  • concussions april 2013
  • ride at disney world feels like concussion
  • theknockout.org concussion
  • junior seau eye of a champion #45
  • a soccer player
  • kevin saum project
  • concussion project.org
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  • the knockout project new jersey jensen concussion soccer
  • http://theknockoutproject.org/
  • concussed me
  • knockout project wordpress
  • concussion emergency they gave me an iv
  • concussion mission statements
  • kevin saum concussion article rutgers
  • knockout project blog
  • post-concussion syndrome soccer
  • sara birkholz rochester mn images
  • cuncussion from bouncing on mountain bike
  • amateurism perpetuates
  • vivid dreams after concussion
  • post concussive syndrome in adolescents
  • kevin saum football injury
  • kevin saum the knockout project
  • the knockout project-21st century
  • duluth mn neurologists who specialize in concussions
  • racing drivers head whipped forward after crash pain shooting up head
  • can someone help me write an impact statement after a car accident that cause whiplash
  • post concussion doctors in mineapolis
  • second impact syndrome survior
  • bmx biking project
  • jay fraga bmx
  • 12 yr old with multiple concussions
  • concussion helps me hang on some people claim
  • i crashed on my mountain bike and i got unconcious what possible the cause
  • jay fraga bmx racer
  • multiple concussion syndrome
  • knockout jay fraga
  • bradley multiple concussion
  • concussions in sports paraphrases
  • athlete and concussions story
  • football post concussions
  • multiple soccer concussion stories
  • theknockoutproject
  • concussion awareness programs rochester
  • second impact syndrome
  • need more toughtness to ride my bike
  • knockoutproject.org
  • relapse of concussions symptoms
  • i didn’t have a headache until the day after i hit my head, could i have a concussion
  • century projects april 2013
  • post concussion syndrome for time on act
  • words of wisdom for people with concussions
  • sara birkholz 
  • sara birkholz 
  • i have a concussion now what? 
  • can a concussion cause you to see upside down
  • post concussion syndrome athletes stories
  • post concussion dizziness when bending down
  • most common freak accidents
  • mental toughness in education project
  • knockout i don’t remember
  • no screen time for post concussion
  • teen who misses freshman year in h.s. because of concussion
  • post concussion syndrome in football
  • i need help with my post concussion symptoms
  • i ‘ m fine coach put me back in the game
  • can a concussion change your belief
  • bmx massachusetts
  • seeing my daughter lying on a backboard in the er
  • kimberly mcnicholl ny high school east
  • is a knockout a concussion
  • nausea when reading post concussion
  • most interesting bmx speech
  • vivid dreams concussion
  • had a concussion can’t look at screen
  • can i play soccer if i have post concussion syndrome
  • why is whiplash a major part of concussions
  • concussions mission statement
  • alicia jentzen
  • alicia jensen
  • senior project concussions
  • life course for someone with cte concussions
  • do concussions force bad throws
  • multiple concussions
  • i got my fourth concussion
  • when did society become aware of football concussions
  • projects on concussions
  • music to go along with a concussion project
  • no.14,mcnichols
  • are amusement rides dangerous for those with a recent concussion
  • second-impact syndrome story
  • why is using a cell phone post concussion
  • amantadine concussion
  • trends of how more teens are going to get tested for concussions
  • reboundibility in mental toughness
  • nauseous after second impact
  • nausea from flourescent lights post concussion
  • kevin saum nj

Concussions are no joke. They entail much more than just an abstract sounding word. This list only scratches the surface of that reality.