By Mikaela Broling
Everyone has a story: Enlightening stories, depressing stories and even stories of faith. Each and every one of them have deep feelings and memories attached to it. In reality, they are all different, whether it be how theirs started or ended. I have not always been so keen on sharing mine, but I have come to learn that it is a very important one, one that will make people think, wonder how I keep going, but most of all it is a story of my strong faith and lets people know there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. It may not seem relatable, but look in between the lines, everyone has been lost at some point in their life, broken, fearing what is to come next. I have learned to surpass that, and share with people how it is even possible to overcome those obstacles.
My story began the evening of January 24th, 2012. I was a 15 year old girl, who loved sports! I was a 3 sport athlete, with a total love for playing soccer! However, on the night of the 24th I was playing a basketball game. That very unpredictable night. I was one of the most aggressive defensive players my team had, and I gave nothing short of my best every time I went out on the court! The team we were playing that night, was a very rough team. Physically and mentally. As the game goes on into the evening, the score board goes back and forth between both teams. After scoring a shot, the score board was now in our favor, and we had to get back on defense. I was in charge of marking their point guard, who had very quick feet and intentionally set me up for the biggest fall of my life. Running to keep up with this crazy fast girl, not aware of where I was headed, I ran straight into a massive post player. I ran right into her shoulder, she was much taller than me and my right temple slammed into her shoulder. After that hit, I freefell to the hard gym floor, it was the back of my head that hit hard against the gym floor. I’m told it was the kind of hit that silenced the gym.
Dazed and confused, I tried getting myself up off the gym floor. Miraculously, I did not go unconscious. Eventually my coach ran out to help me off the floor and to the bench. I went into a little panic attack on the bench, because I was so confused. Knowing something was wrong with me, I tried to stay calm. Surprisingly, the trainer at the gym dismissed me as nothing was wrong, just a bump on the head and to go home and sleep it off. No concussion, nothing. My mom on the other hand, was not going to settle that easy, so off to the emergency room we went. I remember feeling so tired and more worn out than usual, and just uneasy with my surroundings in the ER waiting room. Once admitted, the ER doctor came in for the evaluation, and sure enough I was diagnosed with a concussion and told I will deal with post concussive syndrome over the next few weeks or months. I was told school would most likely become a bit difficult. That night we did not realize the severity of this hit, only the next few mornings would start to bring answers.
My dad was gone on a business trip that week, so my mom and siblings were home with me. In the morning when I woke up, I was in my moms bed with her, rather confused and very quiet. I remember seeing my mom first thing when I woke up, and asking her why I was in bed with her. She said I had a rough night, and thought it was best that I slept in her bed with her. That day I slept pretty much the whole day and night. My mom said I wouldn’t eat and really didn’t want much to drink. The next morning I awoke in my mom and dads bed again. My mom just sat next to me talking just a bit to me. There was a phone laying next to me by the bed in the morning, so I was looking through it, and scrolling through pictures. I was looking at all these faces, they had no names to me. They were all strangers to me. My cousins, friends, boyfriend and even family.. I did not know them or understand why. I think my mom was just as confused as me. We went through all the pictures together, and none of them rang a bell. This realization was the first of many to come.
Throughout the week, more and more things came about that I did not remember. My recollection of colors, food, geography, family members, friends, animals, places, my past, holidays, seasons, even my own boyfriend. All of those were lost in my head somewhere. My short term memory was horrible, and my long term memory seemed to have went completely missing. Another unusual thing that happened was that I became completely literal. I did not understand the concept of joking, innuendos or sarcasm. Also, cartoon characters and animated shows or movies tended to scare me. I really thought that all of those things were real. Still today, when I become tired, I am more apt to be quite literal and skittish around animation. The most difficult thing though was not knowing who my Dad was. He had been gone on a business trip and when he came back I just had no idea who he was. When he started crying, I could not help but to cry either. I mean, after all, I was not sure what I was crying about anyway . He kept reassuring me, and said that all will be ok and I would heal. As scared as I was, I just kept trucking along.
A week after my accident, I went in to get an MRI. I had a CAT scan in the ER, which both turned out to be normal. My head injury has stumped my doctors and neurologists, as well as, my Neuropsychologists. They say they have never seen a case like this before with so much memory loss . I went on with my regular life as much as I could. I stayed home for a few days from school until I thought I was ready to go back. We did not realize the fatigue I had until I tried going back to school. My school was very understanding with me when it came time to go back. I was on half days of school for the rest of my sophomore year and 3/4 of my junior year of high school. Now a senior, I am able to go full days. I am on a 504 plan, which enables me to get accommodations with school work and tests and gives me extra time on any assignments I need. For about 4 weeks, I knew nobody’s names at school. No teachers, friends, classmates, nobody! My boyfriend, Adam, was the one who helped me with everyone’s names and helped me find my classes. I had to re-meet him several times in order to remember who he was. To this day, he still shares many memories with me that I do not have.
For 6 months to a year after my concussion, I battled headaches and sometimes dizziness. When I am tired, I still struggle with lights and noise. I also have a difficult time now with crowds. The fatigue I have is like no other fatigue I have experienced before and still struggle with it daily. Naps were a normal thing to me, and they still are. After school, I would snuggle up in bed and sleep for 4 hours when I did half days. Now that I am consistently going full days, every so often I take a day off of school to catch up on my sleep.
As of right now, I am going through neuro feedback, and seeing if it will in fact help my fatigue. I have been resting and going along with my normal life as much as possible. I am still getting some memory back here and there. I am hoping to get back my energy like I had before, but I also know that coming out of a traumatic brain injury like this, I will certainly not be the same girl as before. No one could possibly be the same as before. I would say all of the colors, food, animals, geography, people, etc. that I have come to know in these past 21 months, has all been taught to me, or I have learned on my own. As of right now I am still learning these things, I definitely forget a lot of these common topics, but I am trying to learn them still. I am not about to give up on my struggle though. I really do love life! There have definitely been times where I could have easily given up, but my faith in the Lord and in myself, along with the love from my family and boyfriend Adam has kept me on my feet. I have learned not to be embarrassed when I make remarks, or do not understand something, because God has a plan for me. God has a special plan for each and every injured mind. I Know His plan is an amazing one. In the book of Jeremiah it says, “Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise”(17:14). This is why I keep going, this is why my experience will be shaped into a story of faith and encouragement for others and also myself. There is always light when things seem dark.