Tag Archives: Post Concussion Syndrome

Wisconsin Baseball Player Paul Mallas Writes In To The Project

mallascomboGood morning Knockout Project,

I have been following the organization for about the last year and a half since I discovered it on Facebook.

As a person who has suffered multiple concussions throughout my life of 37 years, I want to say thank you. I’ve always been an active person. Like many, I played football and baseball through high school and college baseball as well.

As we all know as an athlete or an active person, we all suffer bumps and bruises. In the past, I always heard the phrase, “Are you hurt or injured?”- which is Coach’s speak for “can you suck it up and play or not?” I never thought much of these words until my last concussion on July 14th, 2013. It was a typical summer Sunday morning baseball game in a competitive, local, adult league. I singled and a few pitches later, found myself caught in a run-down. Usually, “Pickle!” from the movie Sandlot would fill my memories of getting caught in run downs. Continue reading

Virginia HS Junior Reflects On “The Journey”

{Editor’s note:  When we tell our stories, it’s as much to get them off our chest as it is to release the regret that we feel for having done something to ourselves that likely could have turned out differently if we knew ahead of time that suffering like this was even remotely possible. Marissa is very eloquent in this piece, but what should not be lost while reading it is the very real physical and emotional pain that she still feels to this day. Saving others the expense of dealing with this pain is a common thread in all of our experiences. These stories are all here for a reason. Heed them. –Jay}

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Marissa, left, and friend

By Marissa Flora

“Invincible,” the word that would rush through my head each time I stepped out on the field.  It was a reminder that I would never be the one to get hurt, and if I did, I somehow convinced myself that I could play through anything and I would be just fine.  These days, that idea has changed; “invisible,” is now the word that rushes through my head each time someone does not ask, “What’s wrong?”  No one can see my injury, no one understands what I struggle with to get through the day, and no one knows how much harder I have to work to be successful. Continue reading

PCS: A Parents’ Perspective

{Editor’s note: In 2012, I was contacted by a then-sophomore in high school who was having trouble dealing with the rigors of PCS on top of trying to be a student. She asked me to help her work through things. What came out of that has been a wonderful friendship with a very resilient girl who is now a freshman in college and who still soldiers through some absolutely incredible symptoms. She always tells me how tough I am, but I think she’s tougher. It has also earned me a director on our board in the form of that very resilient girl. Who better to help me guide the trajectory of The Knockout Project? I am thankful that Alicia has such great parents who will go to such lengths in her search for good health.  –Jay}

jensensFrom left: Mike and Joy Jensen with their children Mike, Alicia, Sean, Ashley, and Matthew

By Mike Jensen

As any parent would agree, the most difficult and stressful job you could ever have is raising a child.  You take all of your experiences that you learned in life, and use them to guide and teach your children to meet the challenges that life will throw at them, and hopefully they can build a better life for themselves and future generations.  But, there is one thing you can never prepare for.  That is if your child is sick or injured.  When Alicia got her concussion in April 2012, I was concerned, but, with the little experience I had with concussions, I didn’t know what to expect.  When I was in youth sports, if someone got hit in the head, or, as we used to call it “got his bell rung”, it was no big deal.  Even if the word concussion was mentioned, the consensus for getting better was a few days rest.

I learned a lot since April 2012.  Alicia was 15 at the time, been playing soccer since she was 6, never got too badly hurt.  Not even a minor injury would set her back too far.  On this day, she was defending a play when the opposing player attempted to kick the ball down into the offensive when it struck the side of Alicia’s head.  She went down, got right up, slowly, and said she was fine.  That was right at the end of the half, so there was no real question of removing her form the game, the half was over.  After half time, she felt OK, went back out, and right at the end of the game, she got hit again.  Hit twice the same way in the same game.  After 10 years of soccer, she played her last game, and has had a debilitating headache ever since. Continue reading

South Coast MA Soccer Player Lindsey Santos: 4 Years and Counting

By: Lindsey Santos
Edited By: Carolyn Kenney

santos3I think it’s about time I use the real date of when I actually got my first concussion. I’ve been using different dates in my writings in the hope that it will scramble my memory and I’ll forget eventually the date that is imprinted in my mind. Well, it didn’t work like I hoped it would.

So, I will use the real date: October 28th, 2010.

It was a cold, dark night. Our blood was pumping, fueling our energy as we arrived at the high school. Lights were shining down on the field that we were about to play on. Tension was growing as both teams warmed up for a rival conference game. I had played over 2,000 games of soccer, and I had no idea this one would end up changing my life. I was having one of the best games of the season. Distributing the ball and getting around people came simple to me. With one minute left, the score was zero-zero. We had a corner kick, so I went into a position where I could run in and head the ball. As I was jumping up, I was grabbed by the waist and pulled down to the ground. Before I had time to react, I was kicked in the head two times before blocking the third strike with my hand. I got up and took a few steps before I felt overwhelmed and threw up. I jogged myself off the field. Little did I know I would be on the sidelines for three months. Continue reading

Simmons College Freshman Reflects on the Past Three Years with PCS

By Madeline Uretsky

madeline

Recently in my college writing class, I was assigned to write a paper on a learning experience. Naturally, I chose to write about living with a brain injury. I hope that this can be of help to anyone suffering, or any caregivers who may need hope.

Sunglasses on, and slumped in my seat, I awaited the verdict at the first of many appointments with my neurosurgeon. After producing an unsatisfactory symptom chart, and failing almost every test, I knew that I would be diagnosed with a severe concussion and neck injury. Everyone I had come in contact with could tell that something was just not right with me. Was it the fact that I had no short-term memory? That I wore sunglasses inside my dark house? That I could not walk on my own? Or, that I was unable to hold a conversation? My fifteen-year-old self never could have predicted the physical and emotional effects that followed this first appointment. While painfully recovering from this injury for over three years, persevering and giving hope to others has helped me to find my place in this world. Continue reading

Amidst the Pain of Post-Concussion Syndrome, PA Girl Finds Herself

{Editor’s note: I am constantly amazed when I hear the stories of people who deal with PCS in school. As someone who inherently knows the misery involved with PCS because I deal with it myself, Alyssa’s story is heartbreaking for me. I am heartened though, by her maturity beyond her age and her resilience. I know that she will be successful as she moves forward in her life –Jay}

doudsMy name is Alyssa Douds. I am 18 and live in the Pittsburgh area.

Growing up, I was a tomboy. I played basketball, volleyball, softball, and I bowled. I had many friends and always kept busy! I always pictured myself growing up going to school for volleyball and majoring in sports management. Two days before my eighth grade year in August 2009, my mom, my friends, and I went to an arcade. Who would have ever thought that going to an arcade could change your life?

The arcade game “The Vortex” fell on my head. I tried to duck, but it smashed the back of my head. Right away, I knew something was wrong. Everything was blurry and I just wanted to throw up. I didn’t even know what my name was! My mom took me straight to the Emergency room. The doctor told me that I was fine and that every hit in the head wasn’t a concussion. Two days later was my first day of eighth grade. I went to school and kept coming home every day with a headache! I felt really confused and lost walking the halls. I still wasn’t myself. My mom called my primary doctor and they referred us to the UPMC Concussion Clinic. Continue reading

A Letter to Myself, Two Years Ago

{Editor’s note: Alicia Jensen is a freshman at Towson University. She was diagnosed with post-concussion syndrome her sophomore year of high school. After writing this, she read it and sat on it. She realized that it reminded her of Luka Carfagna’s wonderful piece. I told Alicia to hand it over and that it was important to publish it anyway. –Jay}

By Alicia Jensen

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Alicia, second from right 

Dear Alicia,

You’re in pain. I can feel it now, and I know exactly where you are: Probably laying in bed, in the dark, alone, praying and wishing for the pain of PCS to go away. You had a tough day at school today, huh? head on the desk, waiting for the bell to ring just so that you can go to another one for 52 minutes. I wish I could tell you that tomorrow will be easier and that you’ll be in less pain, but I can’t. Continue reading

An Open Letter to Wes

By Jay Fraga
A3~0

Wes, I turned 42 this summer. The last four years have been hard.

Before I became this guy, I was a meat-eating, hard-charging, will-powered machine of a person. I believed that I could do anything. I still kind of believe that I can do anything. I raced bikes and loved it. The end came with what was my 8th concussion on paper. I know I’ve had many more than that. I’m sure you know what I mean.

Lots of pundits are out there discussing your well-being and what you should do. A lot of them are well-intentioned, but don’t speak from experience. Continue reading

Graduating NJ HS Senior’s Concussion Complicates The End of Her School Year

{Editor’s note: I can’t think of any time that’s a good one to suffer a concussion and ensuing symptoms, but the crunch time leading up to high school graduation seems exceptionally brutal. Becca echoes the uncertainty that all of us who suffer from PCS feel. Her positivity, however, is what will lead her through it. –Jay}

beccaBy Becca Earnest

Wednesday April 30th, 2014.

My accident isn’t due to an athletic injury, although I did play my share of softball, field hockey, and a teeny bit of soccer when I was young. I didn’t hit my head in a brave, heroic type of way how most athletes suffer their concussions. Although I do remember very well the defeated feeling you receive when you’re told you’re not allowed to go back to playing the sport you’re most passionate about. I was on the verge of tearing my rotator cuff my freshman year of high school playing for the lady lions softball and I was told that if I was to continue playing and continuing to wear out my arm, I would probably need surgery and have to deal with that injury for the rest of my life. But that’s beside the point, I just wanted to say that I identify with that loss and kudos to those of you that turned that loss into a gain and are helping other players out. You’re the realest of the MVPs out there.

My accident that resulted in my head injury was from a simple little fender bender on my way to school one morning. It was 7:30 and like always, I was running late. Continue reading

Get Up: A Letter to a Young Person Recovering From a Concussion

{Editor’s note: I am thrilled to share Lindsey’s piece today on The Knockout Project. In the fog of post-concussion syndrome, it is easy to lose one’s way. Lindsey’s words are a most important compass for anyone who considers themselves lost in this journey. They also serve as a pertinent warning to those who might unknowingly venture down this path.  –Jay}

By LB Carfagna

Get up.crosby-get-up1

Even if you can’t get up physically, get up in your mind. Stand up straight. Look the world in the eye. Even if you’re wearing sunglasses. You matter. Your life isn’t over. It’s just different now. You’ll have a chance to mourn what was, trust me. Right now might not be that moment, if you’re anything like me. Crying makes the headaches worse. (It’s ok to cry though.) Right now, you just have to believe. Continue reading